What kind of beliefs do you have?

Guest Post by Simon Lai

When we come across conflicts or situations that confront us, the feelings we feel often have to do with our own belief system.  We have beliefs that are usually negative around it or our reaction is negative towards it.
Three very powerful questions to ask yourself when this happens are;

  1. What is happening?

Bring awareness to the situation, when we are consciously aware we can do something about it.

  1. What does it mean to me?

Give it a meaning because nothing has meaning, except the meaning we give to it. Is it really important to me or isn’t it? Then you can really have a sense of how you feel.

  1. What am I going to do about it?

Do I want to react in a negative way or can I just let it go and move on.

An example situation:

  1. What is happening?

The person I just asked out has rejected me, he/she said no, they won’t go out on a date with me.

  1. What does it mean to me?

I’m not good enough, I’m not beautiful, I’m not attractive enough.

  1. What am I going to do about it?

Hide in my shell, become shy, not ask anyone out again.

This happens all the time. A belief is created when something happens, we then make a decision about what it means to us and then we make a decision about what we are going to do about it. And a belief is simply only something you thought of inside your head that has been reinforced over and over and over again. At the beginning every belief was just a decision beforehand. You made a decision which was reinforced with a certain response long enough that it has now become a belief.

Many people have the belief that they can’t accomplish or succeed in life. No one is born with that belief system. But something happened to them which made them believe that they can’t succeed and so they then make a decision not to do it and to hold onto that belief. Now think about it, if you go out with a belief system that is “I can’t accomplish this”, are you more likely or less likely to accomplish it? Of course, less likely, which in turn just reinforces that belief. And then it means you are even less likely again. So now you have created a self-perpetuating cycle where you constantly reinforce negative behaviours, patterns and limiting beliefs.

Now I want to flip it around and look at the opposite of it. “I can accomplish it”, even if it was somehow by pure chance and you got very lucky, you then start to believe “Hey, I can do that”, and because you said it, it forms a stronger decision and will provide some reference points. Then you go out there again and say “Hrmmm, maybe I can do it again”, because you have done it once, you have the belief. It just then reinforces the patterns and behaviours again. If someone believes that they can accomplish anything they put their mind to, then their experience of life is going to be very different from someone whose belief system believes they can’t accomplish anything.

This cycle can be resourceful or unresourceful, but either way, you are cycling and reinforcing all the time. As Steve Siebold once said – “You’re either growing or dying. Stagnation does not exist in the universe.” You are either constantly pushing and widening your comfort zone or it is shrinking and this is due to the nature of the patterns we are running that are limiting us or expanding us. Beliefs often form the boundary conditions of thinking. Depending on how much an individual is willing to believe is possible; beliefs can either keep you boxed in or allow you to live a bigger life. Small possibility thinking has little chance of giving anything other than small results, whereas big possibility thinking leads to big results. When transformed, beliefs allow people to fulfill their highest potential.

So what are you believing?

What do you believe to be fact or truth?

Is it a positive belief or a negative belief?

Do you only choose to believe in things that will empower you or disempower you?

 

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